so. gutcheck time. there are some days when i wish that i was a cartoon (with superb theme music) so someone could straight clock me over the head with a sledgehammer. thought it is clearly part of this journey for me to continually be working out my salvation... the great book has told me so. and to do it with fear and trembling might i add. i am still holding on in my heart. i am a justifier. it's what i do. i justify things to make them ok when my heart screams that they are. oh how i need my Savior. because...see... i am holding onto "the good part" of something i have been told to lay down... all the way. not even really conciously realizing that's what i've been doing for the last 2.5 months. more like 2.7... anyways. "your love is better than wine" a simple statement, correct? EEEERRRRRR! no. see... anyone can obviously come to grips with the fact that when we look at wine as a means to getting drunk, it's the representation of sin... and the bad things... so the thought of "duh" would come to my mind initially. it's the easy answer and obvious one that intimacy with Jesus is better than the sinful, bad things. when you look at it through the eyes of the Holy Spirit... to see that wine is not just a representation of the bad things... it means the good things too. wine "exhilarates" the heart. wine, in the context of this marriage metaphor (song of solomon- it is also to be interpreted for spiritual revelation as well) is "the drink of earthly celebration". it is the drink of gladness that makes people happy. it speaks of the intoxicating things of this world both good and bad. 1. there is "good wine" of God's blessing and also the "bad wine" of our sin. she is saying more than, "You're love is better than sin". that is obvious. she is saying, "experiencing Your love is better than all the other privileges in this life." -thank you Mike Bickle. ps-you should get his S.O.S. teachings for free online. it will help with life. now i have heard this many times, and it's been revelation to me, most definitely... but it's a crazy thing when you actually have to lay down even the good wine, knowing the promise that it will be better... so. 2 nights ago i was laying down to go to sleep, with tears in my eyes, fighting to hold off certain memories that were overwhelming my heart and mind...while somehow fighting within myself ...with myself about holding something of what was good. CLINGING to the thoughts, and hope for what was good, and what will be good one day... and my tender Jesus that i am sure was crying right along with me gently whispered... "the good wine too"... and i knew in my heart He was right... and i was only doing the very thing that i said not to do... so, this might seem like it has nothing to do with xanga, but all this to say... i'm going to take some time off from this lovely xanga world... for the sake of the laying down even the good things that i was holding onto by this genious communication system. i will check my comments from time to time, but probably won't be posting at all. so. i love you. live your life, and love Jesus in every moment. | 
or just come here, lol.
